4 month old letter

To: My 3-month-old friends

From: Malachi

Dear friends,

Soon you will be hitting the milestone of 4 months old. That is 1/3 of a year. "Time flies", my mom and dad say. I'm not sure what that means. Let me pass on a few words of wisdom and advice to you, though, as you approach this important time of your life.

First, please note that once your arms and hands start working properly, it opens up whole new fields of exploration. I particularly recommend putting everything in your mouth. Clothing, plates, noses, whatever you can get those hands on. Bonus points if it's frozen and feels good on your teeth or gums. You will find that some objects are forbidden, such as silverware, glasses and hair. I have yet to figure out what all these forbidden items have in common...they seem to all look like toys to me.

I am on my way to developing a new mode of transportation in order to obtain things to get into my mouth. I haven't worked out all the details yet but I'll let you in on what I've discovered so far: first, roll onto your tummy and lift your butt into the air. When you get tired of holding it up, the potential energy will propel you either forwards or backwards. This may place you closer to the desired object. If not, repeat until you are successful or someone takes pity on you and gives you the object.

The entertainment around my house is so-so. It's good to smile and be friendly and such, but I like to hold out with the actual laughter for the truly absurd and hilarious. 'Cause then they do it again and again. And get out the video cameras.

I must stress the importance of working out those core abdominal muscles (because we all know that crawling is not our ultimate goal...we are baby bipeds). Crunches, planks, side crunches, and leg lifting are good options. Sure it may disrupt your sleep if you're trying to do these things while swaddled, but that can be dealt with! And if you can find a nice cozy Aunt to nap on during the day, you'll be caught up on sleep in no time anyway. I seem to have misplaced mine though :(

Well, my mom is telling me to quit drooling on the keyboard so I better go now.

Your friend,

Malachi